


Miranda's Cheeky Secret

by psyrin



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: (ass)crackfic, crackfic, lots of butt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2018-04-01 03:32:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4004260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psyrin/pseuds/psyrin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Miranda reveals the ass end of her genetic modification to Jack. Title courtesy of flooj9235.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Miranda's Cheeky Secret

**Author's Note:**

  * For [flooj9235](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flooj9235/gifts).



“I thought it might help if you two just kissed and got it over with.” Shepard’s words hung in the air, filling the atmosphere with a lingering shade of discomfort. Jack cleared her throat, hoping to dispel whatever awkwardness the Commander had injected into their conversation.

“Well. Miranda. I guess you’re not all bad. I mean you have a great ass, so I s’pose that counts for something.” Jack looked down at her drink, hoping that Miranda would not see the red colouring her cheeks.

“I think your butt is a bit more important.”

“...What the fuck, Cerberus?” 

“I’m not with Cerberus anymore, I thought I made that clear.”

Jack turned to face Miranda, who was not quite Miranda anymore. She had been replaced with a gigantic bubbly butt. Somehow the butt continued to speak, despite not having a mouth. 

“Jack, I’ve wanted you to know for so long.” Jack had no words. She could only stare in a mixture of horror and fascination as the butt continued to speak, if you could call it that. 

“I’ve been hiding this for so long. One of the side effects from extensive genetic modification, I guess. I… I just can’t hide this anymore. I love you Jack, and I wanted you to know.”

They stood there in silence for what felt like an eternity. Jack placed her hand on Miranda’s ass, not that there was much else to place her hand on. 

“It’s… It’s ok. I suppose. I honestly don’t know what’s happening anymore. The galaxy is burning, Reapers are everywhere, Cerberus is more everywhere than the reapers, and you’re a fucking giant ass.”

“Well it’s not like you’ve never said that to me before.”

Jack couldn’t help but grin, but that was short lived as she thought about what was happening.

“How the fuck… How are you even talking? Or seeing me? Or listening? I don’t understand.”

Miranda, or Miranda’s butt, moved in such a way that Jack could have sworn it was looking her in the eyes. “I don’t know how to explain this to you, Jack. Honestly, I don’t really understand it myself. My father was not prepared for this kind of… side effect when he created me. That’s why he was so intent on creating Oriana, I guess. Knowing what made me flawed… He wanted to create someone better. Someone who wasn’t a monstrosity.” The butt twitched as Miranda’s voice hitched and Jack could only assume she was crying, as much as a butt could cry. 

“Hey. Cheer-.. Miri. Your dad’s gone. Hell you pulled the goddamn trigger. Fuck him. You’re beautiful alright? I mean, being a massive ass doesn’t mean anything. Look at what you’ve done. Listen to me, the psychotic biotic, trying to make YOU feel better. Of all people.” Jack couldn’t help herself, fumbling with her words as she tried to make the giant ass feel better. She’d been through hell and back and seen some fucked up shit but this would have to be near the top.

Jack could’ve sworn she heard that skintight suit-bound ass sniffle as it said “Thanks, Jack. That means a lot to me.” Going against all her instincts, she walked around to the other side of the counter and gripped the posterior in a tight embrace.

“Chin up, cheerleader. Or ass. Do you even have a chin? Fuck.” 

Miranda laughed and Jack looked at her, surprised to see the human form holding her close. The looming end of the galaxy didn’t seem so bad after all.


End file.
